Warrior Dash 2011

Today was the day!  Warrior Dash had finally arrived.  My mountain biking buddy, Sharon, had talked me into yet another crazy event and now all those weeks days hours minutes of training were going to pay off.  After all, I had run at least one mile, maybe two, in preparation for this outrageous event.  I was ready!  Besides, who could stay indoors on a beautiful day like this?  Our friend Lisa had bailed on us for a real race, so it was just the two of us today.

Wrong!

Our attire was a result of a last minute trip to the Salvation Army store.  For a mere $17, we had all our disposable clothing and we were ready to go.  We met at my house and rode our bikes to Turkey Mountain, saving the $10 shuttle fee and a certain attack of motion sickness for me, I’m sure.

The Turkey Mountain parking lot had been transformed.  Live music, beer, and lots of sights to see.  Some were so wrong…

And some were just right!

RIGHT!

We took our obligatory before photo, fresh and ready to run.  This was going
to be a blast!  We were in the 12:30 start wave, and took our places in the crowd.  After what seemed an eternity, a enormous plume of flames shot into the sky ahead of us, and we began to slowly move forward.   After following the paved bike for a bit, we turned into the woods and onto the mountain bike trail.

We decided early to drop to the back of the pack.  This would enable us to take pictures and goof around without holding anyone up.  At least, we said it was a conscious decision.  Maybe we decided as we dropped back.  Either way, getting to the back of this pack was almost impossible.  There were some seriously out-of-shape people in this fun crowd.  For the first mile, we listened to the extremely labored breathing of a woman directly behind us.  We tried moving ahead of her or dropping behind her, but somehow she kept turning up near us again, literally breathing down our necks.
 

Our first obstacle was the Road Rage, a collection of junk cars and old tires.  We grunted and groaned our way up and over the cars and through the tires, heart rates increasing with every step.  Wow.  This was a full body workout. 

Barricades & Barbed Wire

Next up were the barricades, alternating with barbed wire fences.  The race site had optimistically instructed that you hurdle the barricades and crawl under the fences.  I think “hurdle” was a bit too strong to describe my technique.  The first few might have had vague hints of a hurdle, but by the third one, it could better be described as a pathetic slither.  And if you haven’t crawled under a barbed-wire fence in a while, let me tell you, it’s not as easy as it once was.

Rubber Ricochet

The Rubber Ricochet wasn’t too bad since we didn’t have a lot of people swing the tires at us.  However, that didn’t seem to help Sharon stay on course.  Of course, nothing does…

The Cliffhanger was next.  Described as rappelling down a steep ravine on the website, a slight alteration in plan had developed. We were actually rappelling up the ravine.  Fortunately, it really couldn’t be described as steep.   That was an easy one.  No sweat.  We then turned left onto the Lo Chi trail.  Sharon and I are very familiar with this terrain from a mountain bike perspective.   But today it didn’t seem to flow quite like it did when you were attached to the pedals.

Chaotic Crossover

By now, we were back in sync with the gasping woman again.  I gained a little reassurance when I saw the medics up ahead.  At least help was nearby if she needed it.  Because up ahead was the first challenge with some real teeth to it—the Chaotic Crossover.  An elevated platform with cargo netting stretched across.  What made this an awkward crossing was that as you were stepping down, someone else nearby was also putting weight on the ropes, causing a seesaw motion that really threw you off balance. 

After a brief rest stop for water, we began to climb up.  There was no speed involved here at all, since it was now single file.  This was more like a very crowded hike.  A very crowded steep hike.  As we passed by, a guy was off to the side of the trail. He was trying to be unobtrusive as he lost his breakfast or lunch.  Or maybe he had one of those giant turkey legs and beer before the start.  Whatever it was, he helpfully called out advice to us as we passed by.  “Know your limitations!”

I had to laugh.  If we haven’t learned them by now, it probably wasn’t going to happen.  Next up was a girl, sitting down with a couple of medics tending to her with oxygen.   We continued to the top and gratefully some level ground.

The Deadweight Drifter awaited us next.   Thank goodness it had rained recently or this could have been really bad.  Not only would we have been choking on dust up to this point, but the pond would have been so stagnant and shallow we could have walked over it.  The water was cold, though, so I had to just hold my nose and go underwater all at once.  I am still not a cold water person and slowly wading in is just torture.  This obstacle was actually a blast once you acclimated to the water.  After a post swim photo, we were off to the Cargo Climb.

The Cargo Climb was just too much fun.  We lingered there to take a few more photos.  Next up were the Deadman’s Drop and the Giant Cliffhanger.  Neither of these lived up to their names, although I did see a girl take an amusing tumble from the Cliffhanger.  But she was OK, no damage done.

The route then took us down the trail known as the Lip Buster.  At the bottom, Muddy Mayhem!  A pit full of mud!  How much more fun can you get?  I managed to get in a great slide and then mimicked swimming across the rest.  Had I know this area was being broadcast on a giant screen in the parking lot, I might have taken a more ladylike approach.   I could have stayed here all day!  We emerged onto pavement again, with a huge crowd behind the ropes, watching the action.   They were all so clean!  And here I was, standing in an inch of slimy mud.  I stomped my foot down firmly and watched the mud splatter a few in the front.  That got such a response that I pretended to slide my foot to throw mud over everyone.  I didn’t, but judging by their cheers, I think they would have enjoyed it.

Finally, the Warrior Roast.  I attempted to snap a photo of Sharon jumping over the flames, but didn’t time it right.  By now my camera was so dirty that I couldn’t see the screen, it was point, shoot, and hope for the best.

After rinsing off, we picked up our belongings and made our way to the beer tent for our free beer.  I hate beer, but since I had officially earned this, I was required to drink it.  We milled about a bit longer, then grabbed our bikes and headed back.

This was a great event.   I would highly recommend it for the sheer fun factor.  But if you want to place better than we did, don’t stop to goof around and take pictures.  We placed 3049^th and 3053^rd out of about 7500 entrants.  Yes, while I was graciously entertaining the troops and taking photos, Sharon deviously passed me in the ranks.  No wonder she had that smirk on her face as she jumped the fire!


 BUT THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR, TRAITOR!! 

Making her break for the finish line